Body: Hey Taylor, if you get a sec, I really need to talk to you.
Taylor: Yeah bod, hold on… OK, I’m good, what’s up?
Body: What was that?
Taylor: What was what?
Body: THAT. What you just did to me…what was that?
Taylor: What do you mean? That was a…
Body: Oh my God. Don’t tell me… You aren’t bike racing again are you??
Taylor: Well, B, is it alright if I call you B? I mean, bike racing is my job…and it is something I think I’m really good at. I mean WE. Something WE are really good at.
Body: Umm, first off, no, it is not OK or you to call me B. And hold the phone a sec! When were you planning on telling me about this?
Taylor: Body, please… Be reasonable. Can you just sit down or something? Please calm down.
Body: I AM CALM. I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHEN YOU WERE PLANNING ON TELLING ME THAT YOU DECIDED TO BE A ‘BIKE RACER’ AGAIN.
Taylor: Well, like I said earlier, it is my job. OUR job, sorry… Without bike racing I couldn’t feed us, I mean our happiness levels as a whole would plummet.
Body: That just hurt Taylor. You really hurt me today…
Taylor: Yeah, that hurt me too but realistically it wasn’t that hard.
Body: NOT THAT HARD!? Taylor you are really asking for it now. Here I was under the impression that we were back riding bikes just to stay in shape and look sexy. Then you fly me all the way to Middle Earth or wherever we are…
Taylor: The Middle East Body…be respectful.
Body: TAYLOR! Do NOT even start with me. Respectful?? WHEN WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THAT YOU WERE BIKE RACING AGAIN! You hurt me and you haven’t even apologized.
Taylor: Body, I am sorry. I really am sorry I should have told you.
Body: *sniffles* I trusted you…
Taylor: What can I say to make this better? What can I do?
Body: Nothing, just give me time… I will get over this betrayal. I just need time.
Taylor: Alright. Well, just don’t take too long because there is a TTT tomorrow afternoon…
Body: WHAT THE *collapses*
Wake up, Body… You need to get ready for the TTT… Good luck with your Body tomorrow, Taylor.
Nice one! Rock it tomorrow.
Fortunately, you have concealed from those uphill’s and cobble stones that have come…
Hysterical. I think your body hates you. It’s some weird,reverse body image issue.
Very Clever!
Amazing conversation: I really do not know why athletes spend so much time between physiotherapists, nutritionists, psychologists, mental coaches!why, people? Ask Taylor Phinney, profession… medium, expert in paranormal activities-talk-with-you-fu###d-body- !You’ ve already found your post-racing career,dude! And in case your qualities as medium disappeared, don’t worry Hollywood is already waiting for you as movie’s screenwriter. LoL
So good Taylor! very funny. Good luck with everything this year! -Nikki Sharp
Very comical and clever. I always wondered what our bodies would say if they had brains.
Increblemente ingenioso, cuando termines de castigar tu cuerpo en tu principiante carrera profesional, estoy seguro que encontraras buen trabajo como escritor, I enjoy reading you!
I’ve been ill this past year and skipped racing the whole year. I rode a little here and there. I’m trying to think about getting ready for track season this year, so got back on my bike yesterday for a ‘short’ ride that was too long for where I am right now – it hurts us!! This post sent me into hysterical laughter. Thank you. I needed that. And good luck out there in Middle Earth!!
Nice one! The mind is in racing form and “Body” will soon follow. Just remember that yes you race for a living but if you don’t love what you are doing you can not give it your all!!
Dear Taylor Phinney’s body,
stop being such a girl.
Keep this writing bit up Taylor. You’re good at it! It’s worked pretty well for your dad as well!
That was brilliant.
Fantastic. I am just watching stage 4; good luck!
Brilliantly hilarious! This was very well written. Thanks for the laugh!
HEY Taylor’s body…Pain is Weakness Leaving the Body! Suck it up already.
Awesome… just… awesome…
That was great! Made me laugh! I’ve had this same conversation minus the “I’m a professional” part. My body always whines, but submits.