Back at it today.
After worrying a bit how the legs would respond to yesterday’s rest day, I am happy to report that I made it through the initial 8.1km climb no problem. It was definitely a hectic start, however, a whole handful of riders fighting off the front to get in to the breakaway. It was also nervous today for the most part of the race, which hasn’t really happened yet. Sure, the previous stages have been nervous at times, but it seemed that almost all day today everyone was on guard, fighting for position. Nervousness equals crashes, and today definitely had it’s fair share. I counted three that happened in my vicinity, luckily never involving me.
So I made it over the first climb no problem, with some riders not so lucky but regaining contact to the bunch later on. The legs actually felt so good that over a couple rollers I made my way to the front, and on a downhill, launched a counter-attack to try and bridge up to a group of 5. We all got reeled in, however, and I paid dearly for my effort as we hit another roller/climb-that-is-not-a-climb. I suffered through it, slowly making my way to the back of the pack as we climbed to save energy.
Soon enough, the break was established, with a dozen riders in it–including our own Manuel Quinziato.
The pack never really slowed, as it normally does when a break is let go–this was due to its size. 14 guys in the break vs. Team Sky defending the jersey is not an easy task for them so they never let the pace get too slow.
Today’s stage was hard. Yet another up and down all day kind of stage. Most of it on small, bumpy Spanish roads… I felt good though, was suffering at times, but never too much. The day passed by rather quickly actually and soon enough we were nearing the penultimate 3rd category climb before the final ascent-of-death to Montaña Manzaneda.
I had kept hydrated and fueled all day, and was able to set into a rhythm on the second to last climb, making it over no problem. As we descended down to the base of the last climb my plan was just to hold on until a grupetto was formed and then I would jump in there and ‘cruise’ up to the top.
The grupetto didn’t form for quite a while, but this was no matter as I wasn’t in a desperate state. Some of you might be wondering, if you felt good, why would you just get dropped? Well, even on my greatest day I can’t climb with the best of the best at this moment in my career. AND, this race is about survival and making it as far as possible, which means saving energy when I can.
That said though, maybe I shouldn’t have gotten dropped early, because once I did, and once the road percentages started rising towards the 15-20% range…I started to feel like SHIT. Even in the grupetto, where I was supposed to be ‘cruising’. To start off with, the final climb–on paper was 19km, but the base came after a good 11km of climbing that didn’t count to the actual finishing climb. So the grupetto ended up forming just BEFORE the technical start of the climb.
It also didn’t help to have Tony Martin at the head of our grupetto. I’m not sure of his reasons for getting dropped, and I have to the utmost respect for the man as he is beastly on a bike, but he was riding way too hard for us mere mortals.
Something didn’t feel right on my end of things–I was pedaling, I had the right gears, we were maybe going ‘too hard’ but it should not have been too uncomfortable wattage-wise. I just felt empty, drained, life-less. I was constantly wincing–I wasn’t even breathing that hard, I didn’t even feel like my legs hurt, but I could barely turn them. My body was silently screaming at me NO by completely shutting down.
Um, dear body, not really a good time.
The worst part of it all was passing the 15km to go mark and knowing I still had an hour of this body-prison to endure before I would be done.
It was all I could do to hold the wheel in front of me. I urged myself to eat, to drink, but minutes would pass before I even realized what I was telling myself.
A Movistar rider tried to pass me on my right and bumped my handle bars with his. I then spent almost ten minutes wishing I could ask him why he did that. Why was that necessary? Why did you have to do that? It wasn’t even a big deal! We all bump into each other countless times on a day to day basis… I was just so out of it, I fixated on it–I couldn’t let it go. And I couldn’t do anything about it. All I could do was alternate between pedaling seated, and pedaling standing.
A couple weeks ago I talked about the feeling of nothingness you get when on good form. Today I had that feeling, that feeling of nothing, but it was exactly the opposite of good. Like I mentioned before, my body felt like a prison and I had nowhere to go. Funny the human roller coaster ride cycling takes you on.
Tony finally went off on his own after enough people yelled at him, which was a relief.
The kms had clicked by slowly, and I had a good friend in the grupetto–CJ Sutton from Sky. He’d been working all day on the front and noticed the dire state I was in almost immediately upon looking at me. He gave me a gel, a push, and some positive words. I ate the gel, relished the 2 seconds of relief I got from his push, and could barely make sense out of what he told me.
Back into the prison.
Over the last 5km I gradually made my way to the back of our grupetto. Not on purpose, but due to the fact That I started to go slower than everyone else.
I stared at my SRM, watching the meters as they counted down to the finish. I stared at the ground. I stared at the wheel in front of me. I stared and stared.
My body empty, my mind empty. I felt nothing, I felt life-less. What am I doing?
And then I made it, and it was over. I’d like to say that I made a concerted effort to finish last today, but no, I really did…finish last. Not off the back of our group, but last place nonetheless.
I am now quite tired, especially after writing all of this!
Tomorrow is another day. Tomorrow is even a ‘flat’ stage! Hallelujah.
-tp
Awesome blog. That “nothingness” is what I regularly feel while climbing Olde Stage or Lee Hill on a lunch time ride.
I really love how open and honest you are with your writing. I sense some big things in your future, but I’m not really sure what. Definitely no GC, maybe some, or lots of classics wins, not strong enough to compete w/ Cavendish in sprints.
I really hope you get a shot at Paris-Roubaix next year!
Have you thought ahead to how you will feel on stages 13-15? Or are you blocking that out of your mind?
Hang in there kiddo! It’s good to see that out of all the “nothingness”, you never gave up! That’s what counts…cycling by its nature is circular…you’ll get to this up and down swings just like how you pedal (no pun intended). Rest up and I’m sure you’ll be ready tomorrow…it’ll be a new day and a new life!
Cheering for you, from Norway;-) What can I say…..? I am so taken by your writing. Are you sure you shouldn’t be writing books instead of riding a bike…?;-) Fantastic blog! It’ s so interesting reading what your thoughts are, through this very tough race. Hang in there;-) I also want to thank you for ringing the song “Somebody that I used to know” into my life this summer. I remember you tweeted about the song during the TdF
I just can’t stop listening to it;-) I wish you the best of luck in the future;-)
This is really awesome Taylor, both your article and your determination. You’re such an inspiration ! Rest well tonight and have a ‘nice’ stage tomorrow ! Keep it up this way, the way of champions!
Man, i love your blog, also love your open-heartedness with us.
Congratulations for the 5th position in the ITT, its pretty good for your 1st big “Grande”. Just lost couple of seconds with Cancellara…
I guess tomorrow you wont say that it was a flat stage. The roads that you´re going to pass through are goes always up and down, every kilometer.
Anyway i hope a relaxed race for you!
Great piece of writing, congrats, you really made me feel the pain you went through today. It was definitely a hard reading. I always wonder how come cyclists love suffering. Because unless you love it, I guess you can’t finish such a hard stage.
Wish u the best for the rest of Vuelta. Looking forward to reading tomorrow’s article!
Puzzling. Glycogen depletion or electrolyte dilution due to hydration and beaucoup sweating? Your nutritionist will know. Regroup. Reload. Tomorrow is another, flat, hallelujah, day. One day at a time.
How do you keep going in these situations? Brilliant that you do and a brilliant read. Hope you have a good ride tomorrow
Taylor – thanks for the post. From the spectators perspective it goes so fast and looks somewhat easy. Thanks for insight on the fight and determination the riders are experiencing out there. You are a great writer! Best of luck!
I think you’re creating quite a solid following with your inspired writing, great reading. Good luck tomorrow.
Sorry for obsessing over this, forgive me, but it sure sounds like a glycogen bonk for you in stage 11. I know how many calories I burn for the wattage output and if I extrapolate to YOUR likely wattage it’s more than the 3500 you mentioned the other day. Especially on a nasty stage with lots of little ups and downs that don’t compensate and a jump across to the breakaway. Your team nutritionist will know, But it sure seems you needed to push the feeding really hard today, and maybe didn’t quite hard enough. So feed. If you eat too much you just gain a little weight, eh? Forgive me for being so rude as to offer counsel. It’s an occupational hazard.
Taylor, You’re an inspiration. Wish your grandpa was here to read your blogs. He’d be so proud of you. Thinking of you daily. Sending you my best wishes. Love, Auntie Alice
Thanks Alice! Love ya!!!
-tp
Outstanding post today, Taylor. I only wish that the source of such honesty weren’t so much appalling suffering. Hang in there, and know that our thoughts are with you!
I agree with the poster above – you’ve burnt WAY more than the say 3500 kcal the SRM shows (that’s assuming you haven’t applied metabolic efficiency to the output from the SRM)
The figure on the SRM is the WORK you’ve done on the bike, it doesn’t take into account all of the energy you’ve used to do that work. The number would be correct if your efficiency was 100% – in other words, if every calorie you put out went into powering your bike. But, efficiency is not 100% – it’s closer to 20-25%. That means for every 10 calories you’re burning, only 2.5 of them are actually being used to pedal. What happens to the other 7.5 calories? Well, they’re mostly converted to heat. So your ‘easy’ 3500cal ride is probably….not-so-easy!
Lots more info here: http://www.cadencecycling.com/CMSFiles/Kilojoules.pdf
Now go and fuel up for tomorrow!!!
[Another stellar blog entry, by the way.]
Love reading your account of it all, Taylor… and hoping you finish the whole thing!! But man, don’t even do this little attacks (mentioned at the beginning of the post)… SAVE the energy!!! Really wanting to see you get this thing under your belt! Cheers…
some fine riding and writing, Taylor
if you want to surf yourself to sleep,
check out these photos from your old man’s epic career
http://moranphoto.photoshelter.com/gallery/1980s-Black-White-Cycling/G0000nxdimWJJ8w4
happy trails-
tom
great read
Monks spent their full life to get experience nothingness which is called mu in Japanese. If you can get that nothingness, whats more you want in life…………..?!
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