My Father

Hello all. I’m just back to my house in Italy after a lovely two week training camp in the south of Spain and have been wanting to write this blog for a quite some time now.

I have been wanting to talk a bit about my relationship with my Dad.

I consider my Dad to be one of my best friends. There is no one else in this world that I have spent more time with in my life than him. Between the age of when I could talk, up until I was into my ‘tweens’–almost every night he was home, my Dad would come into my room before bedtime and talk with me for hours on end. He would tell me stories of his racing days, I would ask questions, I could talk to him about anything…he was like my own personal therapist. If I was having a problem at school, I would talk it through with him, whether it was about a girl I had a crush on or a bully that was picking on me. As a kid, this time with my Dad meant the world to me and wound up being an outstanding highlight of my childhood.

I often wondered why my friends didn’t have a similar relationship with their fathers that I had with mine. My Dad would go off to different events every once and a while, but was never gone too long. I very fondly recall the ‘boys weekends’ we would spend together in the winters in various ski destinations in Colorado and around the western US. We would quite literally ski all day–full gas the whole time–then go out for burgers at night and just hang out and chat before heading to bed and repeating another adventure the next day. On those weekends we would be attached at the hip and I remember them as being some of the best weekends of my young life. In fact, when I think back to them now, I am overwhelmed with a strong feeling of nostalgia. I loved every second of the time I could spend with my Dad.

In 2000, my Dad was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease. As a kid at the age of 10, who thought, like most little kids do, that the world revolved around me, I figured my Dad’s ‘sickness’ wasn’t that bad of news. After all, it only meant that he couldn’t travel as much, and would have to spend more time at home; more time with me and my little sister Kelsey. I also had no real clue as to the severity of it, my knowledge of the matter only broadened as I matured over the course of the last 12 years.

My relationship with my Dad didn’t change at all after his diagnosis. Thinking back now to the way he handled it, I can’t really believe his composure. He kept on living, loving, and laughing. He easily could’ve lapsed into self pity and depression but he held his head high and said ‘I am going to live with this disease and I am going to live well.’ He spent even more time with my sister and me, and we got to do some pretty cool things as a family–like move to Italy for 3 years when I was in middle school. Just to do something different and because we could. I will say, however, that nothing we did as a family could how been accomplished without my Mom though, she is very much the glue that holds us together.

A lot of people ask me what it was like when I found out my father had Parkinson’s, but to be honest, at age 10 I was far too young to know anything about it, and as it has changed him over the years I have been growing into my own person and trying to find my place in the world. I would say that the only time I really noticed a huge difference in my father’s appearance was after he underwent a brain surgery called ‘deep brain stimulation’ or DBS. In 2008, as I was qualifying for the Olympic team in track cycling, my Dad had two electrodes implanted into his brain which were wired to a battery box that sits on his right pectoral muscle; it is otherwise called a ‘brain pacemaker’. These electrodes are then fine tuned and customized to his own personal setting that quell his tremors and vastly improve his quality of life. Before the surgery my Dad had been on an 8-year roller coaster of medications, but after? He no longer had to take anything. He was not cured by any means, but he was a new man, with new life inside of him.

Even though my Dad has had to fight through this disease for almost 12 years now, our quality of life as a family has not been hindered in the slightest. My Dad is a huge inspiration to me not only in my cycling career but also in my personal life. He reminds me that I should never take anything for granted, and that no matter what, I should be happy and grateful for what I have. Positivity goes a long way, and seeing the bright side of any situation is a trait I have definitely inherited from my father. He is a bright light in many peoples lives, maybe shining the brightest in mine.

Earlier this month I chose to support my Dad’s foundation, the Davis Phinney Foundation, by donating $25,000 of my own money. The work he does, inspiring people around the globe to live BETTER with their disease is incredible. He did not ask me to donate, I just felt that it was getting to that time in MY life where I needed to start to give back. If YOU are interested in helping me match my donation (and you are in the USA)…you can easily text the word VICTORY to the number 80888 to donate $10. If you are outside the US, and have the urge to help support the Davis Phinney Foundation you can donate here: dpf.kintera.org/taylorphinney or here: davisphinneyfoundation.org

Many of you have been so very supporting in this endeavor, and for that I thank you! It is rather special for me to be able to share my love for the man that taught me everything I needed to know about how to live my life to the fullest, with all of you.

Thank you for reading, and a huge THANK YOU if you donate..it really means a lot to me!

-tp

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[BLOG] Saying Stupid Things To Girls, How I View The World. And Lady Style Tips…

Hey there folks.

I am en route back to freezing cold Colorado and a very funny little exchange just went on in the row in front of me.

First off, I got upgraded to United First which is always a treat and not something that happens all that often–so we are 4 people per row, 2 on each side of the plane.

The two people in front of me have been chatting the whole flight, from when we sat down, up until just now as I am writing this. They clearly are not a couple, as they both came in at different times and are also WAY too into their conversation to have known each other for very long. The man is in his late 40s, the woman in her late 30s. Neither of the two have rings on. The man has been delving deep into what he does and what he loves; he is a good talker, and a quality story teller. The lady’s legs are crossed towards him, and she is leaning on the middle island just eating up everything he is saying. Based off of body language alone, she definitely digs him. I would say that he digs her too as he keeps chit-chatting away.

Just a couple minutes ago the stewardess was coming around offering a choice in mid-flight snack. The choice being either a chicken pasta salad or a turkey sandwich. When she got to row 5, with the chit-chatty future lovers something really interesting happened.

Since the man was sitting at the window, she asked him first: “Hi sir, we are offering either a chicken pasta salad or turkey sandwich on today’s flight. What would you like?’

The man, who had been using big words the whole flight and asking meaningful questions to the nice lady next to him, paused and responded with: “Hmm. What is a turkey sandwich?”

This man is very obviously American, he is not foreign in any way shape or form. How could he not know what a turkey sandwich is?!?! My best guess was that he was stuck in ‘intriguing’ mode and it just backfired. He is probably nervous, and wanting to appear smart and like-able to his potential future mate. I can definitely relate with saying really random stupid things, especially in front of girls. But, ‘what is a turkey sandwich?’ That is legendary… I’m sure there are some Euros out there who don’t know what a turkey sandwich might be, but Americanos? No way. Turkey sandwiches are like a staple of American culture. You don’t know what a Turkey sandwich is and Bill O’Reilly will personally come find you and ream you out for being un-American.

Anyway, the stewardess’ response was classic. Un-fazed, completely deadpan she says: “It is a sandwich, on bread.”

To that the man replied: “Ok, I’ll get one of those.” This made it clear to me that he asked the question not really caring about the answer, only to put on some sort of a front. Strange tactics bro. Strange! The chick still digs you though.

I just watched and observed this whole transaction with widening eyes. People are so fascinating!

OH SNAP! UPDATE!

A rather chubby little kid in a Santa hat just rolled up here to say hey to the lady…who I would guess is his momma. For a second I thought the two people were together and that my whole blog was going to have to be thrown away. But no! Mom says a few words to the boy then INTRODUCES Santa Jr. to the kind man she is sitting with.

FASCINATING. Did that child just meet his future step dad for the first time? Wowza… I wish I could just creep on these people for the rest of the day! What does that say about my life…? Am I that boring? Hmm…

Oh, also. I would like to give all the ladies out there a little style tip. The woman next to me is around 35 and fairly attractive. She is dressed in a nice sweater with a decent jacket, and well fitting jeans. BUT. On her feet she has these beige mountain hiking shoes. This lady doesn’t have a ring on her finger, and gives off the vibe that she is still searching for that Prince Charming to finally save her from her own ticking clock. If only she changed those shoes!!! Ladies, I know hiking boots are comfy, but they are for HIKING. If and more importantly *when* you dress up for the airport, leave those bad boys at home. There are plenty of cheap and understated casual shoes that one can rock through an airport, just do some digging (not literally, digging would require something similar to hiking boots). That actually reminds me of a cute blonde girl yesterday who was on my flight from Vegas to San Fran wearing a well cut woman’s suit coat, True Religion jeans, and PINK SOCKS WITH ADIDAS SANDALS. Upon initial viewing I had the urge to go up and start up a convo but after seeing those feet! I ran, I ran so far away. Just like Flock of Seagulls.

So there you go. Take it or leave it. This is how I view the world.

Fellas, have you ever said anything incredibly dim-witted in front of a lady you were trying to impress? Share some of your own stories in the comments below, I’d love to read them!

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TnT Advice Column: Taylor’s Fantasy, Tandemonium, D-Shnozzles and the Ex-Tebow

Taylor’s Fantasy

Clark asks a 2 part question:

1) Is it worth it to let nature run its course on the legs in the off-season? I’ve never let mine grow back because the first few days of leg whiskers on long pants or riding with leg warmers are torture. Thoughts?

2) If a zombie were running at you and all you had was your bike, how would you recommend using it to take down the walking dead? Let’s assume your tires are flat and nobody in the zombie apocalypse has a Presta pump, so riding away won’t save you.

Dear Clark, Taylor here. I am going to go ahead and answer your second question first. I have often fantasized about using a bike in combat, so this question really felt like a vital one for me to answer. A couple weeks ago on Thanksgiving day I was out early, putting in the miles to make sure I really earned my turkey dinner feast that each year we Americans prepare in honor of our ancestors slaughtering a bunch of people who used to live here. I was up in the high mountains of Colorado on a road called the Peak to Peak highway and riding with my roommate Evie Stevens. We were about two and a half hours into the ride so naturally I had tuned her out and was getting lost in my own thoughts. As a cyclist, especially a cyclist who likes to ride with other people (but who apparently loses interest in talking to them rather quickly), I get honked at a lot. Due to the excessive anger displayed towards me from what ends up being mainly truck drivers; at this specific moment in time on the Peak to Peak highway my mind was fully engaged in a twisted Thanksgiving related truck driver/cyclist altercation ‘fantasy’ if you will. I was day dreaming about a big green dually truck (the ones with 4 wheels in back) coming whizzing by me, just barely clipping my shoulder as it passed at somewhere between 80 and 90 mph. Due to my general badassness, this didn’t hurt me at all and I proceeded to raise up off my handle bars and taunt the driver with both arms flailing wildly in rage. The truck, noticing my antics, screeches to a halt with all four of its rear wheels locked up. As I pedal closer to the now idle vehicle, a large man steps out with a shotgun in his right hand and a bottle of Jack Daniels in his left. This man is overweight, in a sleeveless jean shirt, and bright orange hunting vest. Let’s just imagine that he has no pants, just some lightly stained whitey tighties. He chucks the bottle of Jack at me as I race towards him. Clearly, he is not left-handed and the throw is under-powered and poorly aimed. I dodge the bottle and proceed to advance at approximately 50 mph (I am incredibly strong in my mind) on the large man who at this point in time is now raising his gun. I initiate my cyclocross dismount, unclipping my right foot, and swinging my right leg over the saddle, around and through the left leg so I can prepare the first step of my attack/disarm maneuver. I then unclip my left foot approximately 10 feet from the large redneck. I time my dismount perfectly so that I am able to swing my BMC SLR Team Machine in a fluid diagonal uppercut motion to the mans chin JUST before he is able to fire. BANG, the sound of the shot reverberates off the sides of the tranquil Colorado mountains. THUD. The man has been uppercut so hard by my bike that he has done a full backflip and a half and landed loudly on the cold pavement. Stunned and on his back, I have enough time to slowly walk over next to him and pick up his shotgun. I then deliver the greatest line anyone with a gun in their face has ever heard.

Happy Thanksgiving MotherTrucker.

Don’t worry folks, the fantasy ends with the man being escorted to jail. I am not a psycho, I would never kill the imaginary redneck! The point I am trying to get across is that in my own imagination, bikes can be used as very good weapons. They are quite large and pointy in certain areas such as the fork, and chainrings. If/when the zombie apocalypse does roll around, just make sure you have your BMC on hand. I sure will.

Tejay here. Getting back to the point… Razors are expensive, you don’t need to spend the extra money on razors and extra 20 minutes in the shower. Feel like a man for a month and let it grow. Shoot, that is what I have been doing with my face over the winter!

Taylor: Wait, Tejay, are your legs shaved?

Tejay: Yep.

Taylor: …

Tejay: Yeah, we don’t speak the truth on here.

Tandemonium

Scott asks: My wifey really wants to ride a tandem with me, but I think it’s full of problems. Just the major ones: neither of us wants to be in back (she brakes too much and I might have an issue with gas), her power to weight is WAY below mine, and we’d be that couple that does EVERYTHING together. Any advice how I can convince her to drop the tandem?

Dear Scott, Tejay here. You are larger in mass than your wife. Physics dictates that on a tandem bicycle, the larger person sits in front–tell your wife this, you will not be lying. Trust us.

You say that you have a gas problem, but we don’t see this necessarily as a ‘problem’. Once you have convinced her that she NEEDS to be on the back to be in accordance with the laws of physics, take your strike. Remember, you only have ONE shot at this. Fuel up on way too much fiber; I recommend Taco Bell, and make sure you don’t wear those brand new Assos shorts you paid big bucks for.

I give her one ride with your stanky Taco Bell butt in her face, and she will submit defeat. Bye bye tandem.

Taylor here. Wow, Tejay, you just killed that! Respect. I would like to analyze another key point if I can… We all know that the ladies wear the pants in any relationship after marriage. Most men think they do, but let’s all be honest with ourselves, if she is sneaky enough to get you to marry her? Yeah, she wears the pants. If you have read the book ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’, and I am guessing you haven’t, you would know that men need their ‘cave’. Cycling is your cave Scott, your escape from your job, your home, your…wife, and you NEED that cave to survive. Women are not allowed in the cave! Sure, riding with the lady friend every once and a while can be great, but for the most part, you have to keep the bike and the lady separate for them to co-exist!

Tejay: Do you need help with this? I am, after all, the only one of us that has read ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’.

Taylor: … Umm.

Tejay: Oh you just go ahead.

Short and Sweet

Anonymous asks: Going through a bit of a dry spell and getting a bit bored, need a bit more action in my life. I’m off to college next year so don’t have a lot of time for a proper relationship which might mean something. Would it be wrong of me to take a average to poor offer i’ve got on the table knowing i can’t really commit and just fancy some ‘fun’?

Dear Anonymous, Tejay here. As long as the ‘average offer’ you have is on the same page as you and knows it is just about fun and is COOL with that, then there are no problems. The second you start telling her things she wants to hear–but may not be true–for the sake of getting in her pants, then THAT is when you become what TnT calls a ‘douche-shnozzle’.

Taylor concurs.

Exing out the Ex

A Fellow Bro asks: So I had this girl.  Was friends with her for a year.  She then breaks up with her older three year (tatted up jesused out) boyfriend and tells me she is cray cray about me.  We casually dated for a semester…over the summer she started seeing him again and before I know it they are back together.  We were never full “relationship status” because we wanted to keep it simple.  She wants to still be my friend.  Could either of you forgive a girl for something like that and be her friend?  What would TnT do?

Dear A Fellow Bro, Tejay here. Don’t let yourself be on the hook. She just keeps you around because she wants the attention you give her by wanting to be with her.

Taylor here. I agree with Tejay on this one. This sounds like a typical ‘stuck in the friend-zone’ situation. To be quite honest, a girl who strings you along like that is not worth your time. Any girl who can easily switch between dudes, offering hope to both at seemingly the same time is BAD NEWS.

Tejay chimes in with: Bro–shit, or get off the pot. The no-fun part about relationships is that you have to put up with the girls craziness. The great part about relationships (among others of course—winky face) is that you are free to get down and dirty with said girl. Sounds to me like you are experiencing the crazy, but none of the bang bang. Why would you submit yourself to that?

Taylor here again. AFB—when in doubt, pull out! Don’t give her the time of day. I wouldn’t be surprised if, when you pull the plug on her and no longer give her the attention that she has gotten used to from you, she comes running back. This tatted-up-Tebow of a man she is dating now is going to get old for her again and she will be desperate for her back up plan (that is you). Just say no playboy! Do you really want to be her back-up plan? I think not.

Join us next time for the TnT Advice Column! Make sure to send your questions to TnTAdvice@gmail.com and follow us on Twitter! @taylorphinney and @tvangarderen88

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TnT Advice Column (INAUGURAL POST)

Here we go!

The Age Old Dilemma..?

Douglas asks: Girl likes to have sex most at night. Like late. I often have to wake up at 530am to meet training partner for ride. How do I do both? Because skipping one or the other just isn’t doable, and you know it.

Dear Douglas, Taylor here. While Tejay has a rather simple answer to your question–which we will get to later–I would like to take a second to delve a little bit deeper into this.  According to a fact that was passed on to me by my female roommate, who most likely heard it from a friend, who read something on facebook about a friend who tweeted about this; the hour at which the average woman is at her highest state of arousal is precisely 3:00-4:00PM. Therefore, for me, the answer is simple: the ladies, they buy into a lot of questionable things. For example, if she is into horoscopes then you are in luck! This means she will be more inclined to believe you when you present her with this ‘fact’. I’m not saying you should lie to your lovely lady, I’m just saying that if you incorporate lunar and star alignment into your presentation on how her optimal sexual hour is–whenever you want it to be AM/PM–then you WILL WIN Douglas. If she DOESN’T believe you then she is clearly not crazy–a.k.a. a keeper, and you should probably marry her.

So really, you will either A. find out that your girlfriend is not as great as you thought and will have to dump her because, let’s face it, she be crazy to believe you. Or B. you will not get what you want. And that leads me to Tejay’s answer.

Tejay: Douglas, have sex, sleep in, ride alone. (Taylor secretly agrees to this plan).

Standards…

Klowe29 asks: Should you “Go Ugly Early” or wait and try your chances with the hottest one in the bar?

Dear Klowe29, Tejay and I have compiled a mutual answer for this one. Like Babe Ruth, we would encourage swinging for the fences, even pointing at said fence before you knock that ball out of the park. Instead of thinking what if..? Think why not! For reals, you will find that the second far outweighs the first. I think you will also find that probably not a lot of people in the bar have pointed at the hottest girl there, which will subsequently make you stand out, because let’s face it, pointing at randos is kinda creepy. BUT also, intriguing. On a side note, make sure you have an incredible follow up to said pointing move in order to guarantee success. As Tejay would say, swing for the fence, but don’t be too upset if you end up at First base–he knows better than anyone that you gotta slay a couple dragons before you can find the princess. No shame sir, no shame.

ALSO, you need to look at the long term. If you are going out, fully committed, then you have the WHOLE night. Rooms are dark, alcohol is permeating the blood stream–entering the brain, making life blurry. By 2:00AM the hotties are by and large all at home looking at themselves in the mirror, pretending that they enjoy eating 300 calories every day and tweeting about how amazing their life is and how much more ‘blessed’ they are than the rest of the world. Granted, I wouldn’t know, I am just guestimating here (winky face). Anyways, back to the point. Try your luck early fellas, be funny, win some, don’t worry if you lose some…but at least try! If, by 2:00am you are unsuccessful, then lower your standards exponentially factoring in the time of day and your growing level of intoxication.

Sweet, Sweet, Bike Riders.

Anonymous asks: There’s a friend (bike rider!) I don’t fancy at all trying to go on a date with me.. I don’t wanna be rude to him but he’s a real pain in the neck! He knows I just want to be his friend but he never misses the opportunity to invite me to my team’s football matches etc. Advice? Are all bike riders so annoying??

Dear Anonymous, Taylor here. First off, hold those horses! I’m not sure if you know this, but both Tejay and I are bike riders, and the only way you could have arrived to my website is through my Twitter, which means that at the bare minimum, you follow me, and let’s just go ahead and assume that you follow Tejay. SO, your final question is irrelevant because you should know from reading at least 2 of my tweets that yes, bike riders are incredibly annoying! I don’t hide it. I am proud…

Tejay here. As well as being very annoying, we tend to be very persistent. Unless this guy feels he still has a chance, he WILL persist, SO this turns into a classic ‘truth will set you free’ situation. Tell the guy that you are not into him ‘that way’ (whatever the hell that really means!). And also, stop being a tease and stop stealing his football tickets.

Taylor here again. Girl, hold up. He buys you tickets to football games? Or he invites himself to YOUR games… Slight difference. If he buys you tickets to games then you might need to step back a second and evaluate this situation a little bit deeper. This guy sounds like a care-taker. Let’s face it, you are not getting any younger, and you might look back to this time and think ‘why oh why did I not get with that guy who was so nice to me, and who bought me lovely things all the time and genuinely would have spoiled me for the rest of my life…?’ Then, you will look him up on facebook only to notice that he has moved to sunny California, married the winner of Season 8’s America’s Next Top Model, and they look oh-so-happy. Crushed, you close your 8-year old computer and head to the freezer for your second pint of Ben & Jerry’s Cherry Garcia in the span of the last 30 minutes. It is also raining outside because you are in England.

Think about it…

Join us next time for the TnT Advice Column! Make sure to send your questions to TnTAdvice@gmail.com and follow us on Twitter! @taylorphinney and @tvangarderen88

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TnT Advice Column : How it works

So I have exciting news.

I have been reading a lot of advice columns recently, purely for the prose…of course… And just recently, I thought to myself – Holy Monkey Crepes – Taylor, you and Tejay should have your OWN advice column. I mean, whenever the Teej and I are brought together, we thoroughly entertain ourselves with our own problems and our own opinions, now just imagine adding OTHER peoples relationship – sex life – biking issues/questions? By golly gee, sounds like a winning combination to me!

So. Here is how this works. I have created an email address just for this:

TnTAdvice@gmail.com

Shoot ANY and ALL questions to that email address and we will pick the most juicy, most interesting, most vital advice questions as soon as we can. Any relationship problems, sex problems, bike riding problems, school problems, you name it… We’re open and incredibly opinionated.

We are gonna have fun with this!

TnTAdvice@gmail.com

(We will post your first name, and your question. If you would like to remain anonymous just say so.)

Talk soon :)

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Iz nice ze mobile phone on ze toilet or vat? [BLOG]

I am on an airplane right now and thought I’d share a quick story with you.

I just went to the little boys room…just for a tinkle, nothing serious. Anyways, on my way up the aisle I had my iPhone out because I was finishing editing a secret photo I took of the man in front of me who has whiskers on his face (that is another story see: http://instagr.am/p/Q4uC0/). So I reach the little area where the stewardesses hang out, greet the small German stewardess who is brewing coffee or something along the likes of that. To be honest I didn’t look that closely. All that matters is that she said ‘hallo’ back. At this moment in time I still have my phone in hand as I enter the bathroom.

Upon entrance to the airplane bathroom, I notice how incredibly small it is, put my phone in my pocket, drain the main vein, wash my hands…then I think ‘hey, you should take a picture of how cramped it is in here for your loving twitter followers.’ I reach for my trusty phone, snap a few pics (can’t just take ONE, see: http://instagr.am/p/Q4uCq/), and open the bathroom door back up.

The small German stewardess is still doing her thing and I greet her again… To which she gives me an interesting look, eyes my phone and says:

“Iz nice ze mobile phone on ze toilet or vat?”

This question caught me off guard, I was rather unprepared to answer it so it took me a second to process if she was making fun of me or actually asking if my phone was nice to use while sitting on the toilet. I briefly flashed back to all the times that I have used my mobile phone on the toilet and considered a polite ‘why yes, it is.’

The processing began to evolve however I was able to conclude that she was in fact a short middle aged German woman who worked all day on airplanes, and that THIS was a snarky comment. A dig at my personal hygiene so to speak.

I stumbled over my words as I attempted to explain that I was taking pictures of myself in the mirror…her already raised eyebrow slowly inching further and further up her forehead. How does one get the message ‘I’M A CLEAN PERSON’ across in all-caps like that to a small German woman without explicitly saying it?

One of life’s mysteries.

After some awkward laughter on my part I admitted defeat and just walked back down the aisle to seat 7D. I am still questioning myself as to whether or not I actually did wash my hands.

Damn! I’m all insecure about my hygiene now!

:^P

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McEwen’s wheel, and realizing I am still a fanboy.

I experienced an interesting moment yesterday, in stage 4 of Franco-Belge.

After Michi Schar absolutely buried himself to bring me up next to the Sky train with just under a kilometer to go, I drifted back to fight for the best wheel in the house, the wheel directly behind CJ Sutton, Team Sky’s leader. As my elbows inched outward ever so slightly, as to let whomever was already there know that I was getting ready to fight, I heard a familiar Aussie accent call my name. In what was most definitely not a shout, but not quiet enough to be a whisper (we were travelling at about 65 kph), I recognized the voice immediately.

This familiar voice belonged to Robbie McEwen.

As long as I have watched cycling, Robbie McEwen has been an idol of mine. His tenacity in the bunch, and ability to snatch stage wins away from even the most organized lead-out trains always made him easy to root for. Robbie was actually one of the first pros that I met in 2005 when my Dad took me to the Tour de France to follow for a couple weeks. That trip to France wound up being one of the main reasons I decided to race a bike, and having the ability to meet guys like Robbie in the rider’s village each morning definitely spiked my initial interest even more.

‘I want to be like these guys Dad, this is so cool.’

Over the course of this year I have had the fortune of getting to know Robbie even more, as we are now co-workers–as I am now ‘one of the guys’. Needless to say he is a classy champion and very nice and open to talk to. I still like to see him win, even though he is technically my competition.

So back to the race.

As I drifted back preparing for a fight, the 2-3 seconds following my recognizing the fact that I was about to brawl with McEwen, I experienced a condensed version of everything I have just recounted to you. I am still very much the fanboy I was back at age 15, and so when the time came to put the power to the pedals and crane the neck over to attempt to push out one of the most successful sprinters of all time, who happens to be very nice to me, and who I respect a whole heck of a lot, the power never came and I continued to drift backwards.

I ended up brawling a bit with Guardini from ISD who I had narrowly missed crashing into the day prior as he rolled along the ground in front of me. After a couple bumps I figured I’d rather stay upright than bouncing across the tarmac with a small and probably very angry Italian, and finally slotted myself in his wheel. As the sprint came I was nice and gassed from my time fighting in the wind that I lacked the big kick that powered the likes of McEwen and Guardini to 1st and 2nd on the stage. Rolling in for 8th I was satisfied but still realize that I have a lot of work to be done…

 

A big thank you goes out to my amazing teammates who believe in me each day. As I progress and keep climbing up the results sheet, I hope to pay them back for all the work they have done and energy they have sacrificed for me with some big wins!!!

 

Asta la vista baby,

 

-tp

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Salt, and the Devil apparently suffers from ADHD.

Ahh salt. The holy salt! I always enjoy the superstitions that arise at bike races, salt passing and spilling being two of them. As an American, when I was growing up, if somebody asked you to pass them the salt, you grabbed the salt shaker with one of your hands, and you passed that person the salt, usually from your hand straight to their hand. I mean, it is just second nature. You are just passing salt. For most European bike racers, this is a NO NO. One thing I have had to get used to this year, is that it takes a couple extra seconds to salt your food.

Salt rule number 1: NEVER pass the salt hand to hand, always place the shaker on the table in front of the person you wish to pass it to.

It is quite comical to be passing the salt to someone who asked for it, just to have them look at you like you are crazy for holding it up in front of their face. No Taylor, I will not take the salt from your hands, put it on the table in front of me. I attempted to find the origin of this superstition online, but could only find an old saying; ‘pass the salt, pass the sorrow’. Other than that there isn’t a whole lot of info on it.

Needless to say, I don’t pass the salt hand to hand anymore at bike races for fear of being chewed out by my entire team.

Salt rule number 2: Do not spill the salt, if you do–throw some over your left shoulder.

This superstition is more commonly practiced all over the world–at least I knew about it BEFORE I raced with Euros. At our dinner table, however, when someone spills the salt it is usually followed by the entire team exclaiming NOOOO or something like AMATEUUUUUR. I’m not sure the yelling is common practice worldwide, but that is how we roll. The salt-spiller then takes more salt and throws it over his left shoulder. I looked into this superstition as well and have come to some interesting conclusions.

Back in biblical times salt was hard to come by and somewhat of a commodity. Spilling these expensive tiny white rocks of goodness was considered almost sacrilegious and left the culprit exposed to the DEVIL. The salt offender then was supposed to throw more salt over his/her left shoulder. This motion is apparently akin to blessing someone after they have sneezed and is a way of ‘keeping the devil at bay while you are in an especially vulnerable moment’. So this motion of throwing more salt over your shoulder is either to blind the Devil, since he is very predictable and only creeps up on your left side, OR it is to distract the Devil while you are cleaning up your mess.

Ok, I have a couple issues with this.

1. If this is all truth, the Devil is a dumbass. The left side, every time? Really Devil? So the last millions of times you went sneaking up on some poor innocent soul vulnerable from spilling salt, and he or she promptly blasted you in the face with MORE salt, you never once considered maybe the right shoulder was a better option?

2. The devil has ADHD. So let me get this straight. I drop salt, salt is now spilt on the table. Devil sees this and thinks ‘yeah you little sh*t, I’m gonna take your soul!’ But before he can get close enough I have already thrown more salt on the ground behind me (just wasting more of this precious commodity–no big deal). Devil sees this action and immediately gets confused and distracted by the white stuff now on the ground. And by the time he realizes why he came all this way from Hell just to take my soul in this moment of incredible vulnerability, my mess is cleaned up…and he can no longer take my soul…?

Conclusion: as a people, we are all idiots. Yes, myself included, because even though I bash them, I comply with these unwritten salt rules.

C’est la vie.

:)

-tp

 

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A completely different level.

Yesterday, en route to what I would call a mediocre 15th place, I did a whole 25 more watts AVERAGE than I did at the Vuelta Time Trial where I finished 5th. I certainly gave everything I had, but it was not enough.

The Vuelta TT was a big step for me. It was the first TT of that length that I had ever done, being just shy of an hour. Yesterday was very similar, and to experience a jump of 25 watts–I could be ecstatic with that. But I am not. At the end of the day, it is not how many watts someone produces in a single day, it is how fast they go. While I am content to have technically gone faster, I realize that I have a lot of work I need to get done before I can be competitive at this level on such a stage.

Yesterday was a good indication that yes, I am improving, but these guys, Tony Martin in particular, are at a whole different level. I know I can be up there soon as I have plenty of room to grow, I just have to put in the work and the hours. I am very motivated this winter to do everything right and come out guns blazing next year.

I still have the Road Race on Sunday where I will hopefully be leading out Tyler Farrar if all goes according to schedule…

 

Thanks for all of your support, we will be on top soon enough. :)

 

-tp

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My (fake) real interview w/ Phillipe Gilbert after GP Wallonie.

TP: Hey, Phil. First off, thanks for sitting down with me. I am a huge fan of yours. Congrats on today at GP Wallonie, Canada and leading the WorldTour ranking.

PG: Oh hey Taylor. Yeah thank you. I would say I’m a huge fan of yours too but I never really see you in races because I’m usually off the front. And from what I hear, you’re usually off the back.

TP: Yes, that is quite understandable. Talk a bit about your goals this year and how it has gone.

PG: (laughs) How it has gone? Um, Taylor, I’m sorry but do you watch cycling on TV? I have won everything. I don’t know if you noticed but it would appear to the general public that I have 3 legs, while everyone else, yourself included, has a mere 2. Goals? I don’t set goals. Goals are for people who are weak. I just win. Everything. It is funny because I’m actually getting tired of it… You know that electricity that courses through your body after winning a bike race? Yeah, well, too much of that can cause some serious low back pain. It is really quite annoying now but I keep winning anyways because it is how I am ‘wired’ or something.

TP: Yeah, you are really impressive.

PG: That is another thing, Taylor, stop sucking up to me. I know I am a legend in the making but Jesus H I am a person too. Relax, I’m only beastly on the bike. In person I’m a real Teddy Bear. In fact, that is what my close friends call me. Teddy Bear.

TP: Really?

PG: Don’t question me.

TP: Just wondering Phil… Jeeez I thought you were a Teddy bear.

PG: I am, just get to know me you ignorant American piece of…

TP: Phil, this is a family blog, please. So back to the interview. What are your chances for Worlds?

PG: (laughs) There you go again! Chances? Ahhhhahaha. Only mere mortals have ‘chances’. What kind of BS is that. I could win that sh…–I mean–I could win the Worlds so easily, it’s just, like I said, my back, it really hurts…from all the post ups. I can’t control it. Your friend Cadel has done a good job of limiting his winning salutes to one armed fist pumps… I need to learn something from that guy. That is a big reason why I signed for your team actually. Well, that and the cage of African lions and tigers I was promised by Och. I can’t wait to just sit in my house and play with my lions and tigers. Like me, those animals are so raw and fierce on the outside, but incredibly gentle on the inside.

TP: Wow, yeah I would be really excited to play with the lions and tigers too. Maybe I could come over?

PG: (laughs) Taylor, you really are unique… In the worst way that is. I don’t even know you, why would I invite you over to my house to play with my cats? That is asking a lot don’t you think? Plus, they would totally eat you. You are like a human gazelle. I mean, look at your nose, it is huge. You must be really good at smelling things. Is this interview over yet?

TP: Yeah, Gilby, almost. Is it alright if I call you that? I just came up with it.

PG: You may refer to me as Sir, Your Highness, or Master.

TP: Oh, OK, I apologize. Your Highness. Anyways, about your victory. I was actually there to witness it and am pretty excited about that! You are so amazing. How do you do it?

PG: God you are really getting on my nerves Taylor. Yeah, a lot of people witness my attacks, you know, since EVERYONE is BEHIND me. Jeez, you think you are special or something? Get on your hands and knees and clean my shoes.

TP bends down and begins to clean PG’s shoes.

PG: Yeah, that is better. So anyways, I attacked and I won. Everyone knew I was gonna do it, and then I did it, and then no one was surprised when I won. Luckily I had time to slowly take my hands off the bars so as not to hurt my poor back. Alright I’m done with this, goodbye Taylor. Now kiss my feet to prove to me that you did a good job cleaning them

TP kisses PG’s feet.

PG begins to hover off of the ground, puts one fist to the sky, and takes off in flight.

That all really happened! Actually, it didn’t.

A quick update from me today. Felt good, was fun to be racing again. Almost got dropped on second to last climb, hung in there until about 2km into the final climb, right before it leveled off. Blew to pieces, but witnessed a Gilbert attack, so that was cool! On to Koolskamp in two days which is more my thing. :)

-tp

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